Cleveland Rib Cook-Offs

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It’s Memorial Day weekend in Cleveland, and it’s also the true beginning of ‘fest’ season, beginning with The Great American Rib Cook-Off and The National Rib Cook-Off, or Rib-A-Palooza, or something like that. I can never remember, because at some point in the summer, there’s about 248 rib fests, and frankly, I can’t keep track of them all.

The big ones though, are this weekend, and along with them, the requisite music acts, 2 of whom (the B-52’s and Todd Rundgren) are criminally overlooked by the purported Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame.

Anyway, so when they say ‘National Rib Cook-Off’, is there, like, a structured play-off system of some kind? I mean, are there divisional winners, and play-offs etc. in order to get to the national stage? I dunno, it seems like it should be televised, too. Bring in Terry Bradshaw, or Bob Costas to host – maybe we could get Madonna for a halftime show. Or, Meatloaf – there’s gotta be a cool tie-in there.

Unfortunately, I picture pre-game warm-ups to be a bunch of sweaty, greasy, BBQ guys, in ill-fitting, Hanes beefy-T’s (now, there’s a pun) going through ‘dry rub’ exercises, and…

Um…I think I better stop right there.

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